


The Garden Party

by mrv3000



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-25
Updated: 2008-08-25
Packaged: 2017-10-19 18:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrv3000/pseuds/mrv3000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor gets a glimpse into Jackie's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Garden Party

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the universe of my fic "Signing Up," although all you really need to know is that the Doctor and Rose are living in a guest house on the Tyler estate. Thanks to Goldy for betaing!

"Oh, speak of the devil!" Jackie's voice called out.

The Doctor stopped and stared at what _wasn't_ supposed to be in the garden between the mansion and the guest house: a large party. Tables and chairs everywhere, a band (on break) off up against the hedges, and a hundred or so people milling about.

He instantly recognized it as a charity event - something Jackie had become heavily involved with in this world. She was actually good at it, surprisingly enough, and always raised hefty sums of money for worthy organizations. But he had no idea there was supposed to be one _today._

Jackie scurried over to him and grabbed his arm. "For once you've got good timing. I've got someone I want you to meet."

"Uh, Jackie?" The Doctor looked down at his hands which were clutching bags of stuff from the market. He'd told Rose he wanted to try his hand at cooking something, which most likely would require hours of careful mixing - cooking was just chemistry, after all. He was fairly certain he still knew how without relying on the TARDIS. So he'd left Rose at Torchwood and ventured back on his own. Big mistake.

Jackie didn't even glance at the bags, but locked her arm around his and pulled. "Mrs. Heaton has been trying to set her son up with Rose for years. Doesn't think you exist and that I'm just putting her off," she explained with a low and urgent tone.

The bags hit the ground with a thunk.

Jackie continued as they walked, "Normally I would have just given him Rose's mobile number ages ago, but I've met him and he smells funny."

"Ah, a bit shady?"

"No, I mean he smells like beets and curry. God knows I don't want that smell hanging about."

"Beets and...? Jackie, just to be sure, I don't smell like anything, do I?"

She turned her head towards him and sniffed. "A little bit like my hair gel. You haven't been snitching it, have you?"

"Yes, Jackie. I sneak in every morning while you're asleep and slather myself up. And then I do a little dance at the foot of your bed. I call it my 'I just used Jackie's hair gel' dance."

"Behave yourself, now," she hissed. "Mrs. Heaton!" she called out to a woman standing ahead of them.

"Well, well," Mrs. Heaton said, forcing a smile. "So this is the elusive doctor at last?"

The Doctor held out his hand. "And you must be the equally elusive Mrs. Heaton that I've been hearing about. The one with the enormous beet garden?"

"You must be mistaken. I don't grow beets," she said, taking his hand.

"Hmm. Coriander? Cumin?" He felt Jackie poke his side. "Sorry, someone else then."

"Mr... I'm sorry, I don't even know your name. Mrs. Tyler always simply calls you the Doctor."

"Yup, that's me. The Doctor."

"And you're a doctor of...?"

"This and that. Ooh! Nibbles!" The Doctor plucked an hors d'oeuvre from a platter going past and popped it in his mouth. Mistake number two of the day. "Gyaaah!" He grabbed the dangling napkin out of Mrs. Heaton's hand and spit into it.

By the time he was finished rubbing his tongue, he was aware of Jackie and Mrs. Heaton staring at him.

"Pears. They're..." He stopped himself from saying 'yucky.' "I'm allergic to them."

Mrs. Heaton raised an eyebrow and Jackie simply narrowed her eyes.

"So _you're_ the one who's finally taken one of the most eligible women in the country off the market?" Mrs. Heaton asked in a tone that seemed to imply that Jackie had just grabbed a passing waiter and stuck him in a suit.

"Hold on, one of the most eligible women in the country?"

Mrs. Heaton laughed. "I guess she likes you for your sense of humour."

Jackie gave a nervous chuckle. "That's the Doctor. Always kidding around. They met before he knew who she was, and it's become a joke. _Hasn't it?_ " she prompted him.

"Oh, right! A joke." Rose was one of the most eligible women in the country? How had that happened? All right, in this universe the Tylers had more money than, well, just about anyone, and Rose _was_ young and beautiful... And why was he surprised by this again? "Very _very_ definitely, as you say, off the market. Just like a fish. Although that'd make her dead. _Not_ a very good analogy."

"I guess not," Mrs. Heaton said with that forced smile of hers. "So when can we expect the big day? Will you have it out here?" she asked Jackie. "It does events so well."

"Big day?" The Doctor eyed some wrapped asparagus going past and decided to take a chance. Thankfully that was pear-free.

"Getting married, of course!"

"We're not engaged."

"But you're planning on asking her soon, aren't you?"

"Nah," he said, popping a meatball into his mouth. "Earth-based tradition that involves too much paperwork. Mind, the cake's usually good, but I'm not sure even _I_ could find a use for fifty-two blenders. No...hold on...I can."

The Doctor winced as fingers suddenly jabbed into his side. Fingers with nails.

"Kidding, of course!" the Doctor said with a smile now just as forced as Mrs. Heaton's. "Ooh, I see the shrimp puffs are escaping back into the house. Clearly I need to follow them for the completely obvious reasons! Nice to meet you, Mrs. Heaton!"

He hurried the few steps to the back door of the mansion where he was safe and there was a half-empty, and unguarded tray of shrimp puffs on the counter. The Doctor started eating them.

He was now in a bit of a bind. There was no way to get to the guest house without cutting through the party - not without machete-ing his way through some dense foliage, that was. He wouldn't rule it out yet. But there was also the little matter of the discarded bags of groceries. He spotted a server he'd seen around at other Tyler events.

"Diane, isn't it?"

She smiled at him. "That's right. Can I get something for you, sir?"

"Just 'the Doctor,' if you don't mind. But as a matter of fact, yes there is. I dropped a couple of bags out there and was wondering if you could get them for me. I'd get them myself but I'm currently terrified."

She smirked, but headed out the door. One part taken care of. Now where could he get his hands on a machete?

"Oh, please. She'll never be nothing but _nouveau riche_ ," a woman's voice floated into the kitchen. She wasn't shouting, but it was still loud enough to hear over the bustle, and therefore to anyone in the kitchen.

Another woman answered. "Always having charity events here to show of just how much they have. I swear, every time she speaks, it's like nails down a chalkboard."

The Doctor was getting irked.

"Don't get me started on whatever is supposed to be that accent. Maybe _someone_ should send her some anonymous elocution lessons." They laughed.

 _Really_ irked.

He darted around the corner with a manic grin plastered on his face. "Hello!"

Both women jumped. Good.

"Did you--" one of them started to ask.

"Hear you? Of course! But don't worry, the lady of the house isn't around," he said conspiratorially. "Why would she be in the kitchen in her own house? Sure it's a risk belittling someone in their own home, out where anyone could happen by...like me...but no matter!"

He wedged himself between the women and put his arms around their shoulders. "I want to hear about this anonymous elocution lesson. Now which part is the anonymous part? Because it could get a tad confusing if the instructor doesn't know who she or he is. Might work, though, if you found someone committed to the craft but wasn't bothered by personal identity. But! Now! The bigger problem is Jackie's schedule! She's a very busy woman, you know. Sure there are charities to run, but between you and me..."

The Doctor looked around and then pulled them closer. "Remember when the stars were going out a few months ago? Well, Jackie single-handedly saved the universe. It's true! Saw it myself! We'd all be dead if it wasn't for her! So maybe she could squeeze in some lessons next year. As long as your very lives don't hang in the balance again," he finished sombrely.

The women stared at him, murmured something about needing to get back to the party, and scurried off.

That was slightly satisfying. Even after centuries of hanging around Earth, he still didn't understand that sort of human pettiness.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Jackie said from behind him.

It was the Doctor's turn to jump.

"Well, you know, couldn't just..." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's all right."

"No, Jackie. It's really not."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "I know I'll never really fit in this social circle. And I know what a lot of people think of me. But you know what? It gets more money out of them - money we can get to people who really need it." Jackie suddenly sported a smirk. "Because _surely_ they could donate just as much or more than some common folk."

"Oh...oh, that's crafty, Jackie Tyler! I like it. No, I _really_ like it. No wonder you're good at this! Doesn't it get to you, though?"

Jackie shrugged. "I've had worse. And besides, they're not all like that. You just happen to run into a few bad ones. I've actually made a few really good friends in this world, you know. Don't you dare go around thinking I'm this sad, friendless person. Do you want to meet them?"

"Not that I'm not glad for you, in a double negative way, but some other time, maybe? I'm supposed to be making dinner for Rose and I've got only, ooh...three and a half more hours??" A hand went to his head and he pulled at his hair. "I'll never make it!"

"All right." Jackie slightly rolled her eyes but smiled at him, patting his arm as she started to walk past. But she stopped and her hand lingered. "Thanks," she said with a squeeze.

The Doctor gave her a lopsided smile in return. "Any time."

"Oh, you might be interested to know that we're having a speaker in five minutes. Everyone will be gathered around to listen. Might be a good time for someone to make a run for the guest house. If that's what they were wanting to do, that is."

He grinned. "Thanks."

"Any time."


End file.
